Thoughts of the Day – June 11th: All of the questions! & Parenting 101, & Sisters

It is a Wednesday, which means I am here working at my cafe job, listening to country music.

Today I am thinking about .. hold on I forgot to sample the soup…damn that’s good red pepper soup. Okay, I am back, sorry about that.

All of the questions!: So I am thinking about last month’s project, you know, that one I was super evasive about?

In order to finish the next steps, I think I have to download a free 30 day trial of Indesign. I haven’t done it yet, I think because I am a little scared. That’s 30 days to commit to making this project be real, and good. I can’t just have real crap, that would be embarrassing. Now that I get closer to this becoming something I send to people, I am starting to question my abilities. Not too much, but a little. What if I put all this work into it and the content itself is just meh? Is it meh? Should I send the content to one person before I add it to the project itself? I’d only have 30 days to get it all together and turn it into a PDF in perfect condition. Otherwise I’d have to cheat and find ways to keep downloading the trial, and I don’t want to!

The question is, who should I send that draft to? My brother or sister? A friend? Both my brother and sister? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!

I think I am going to draft an email to my brother with the content and contact him on all forms of communication to make him read it. (Sometimes it’s hard to get his attention, he has a million jobs and a family.) Great, thanks for helping me talk myself through this, wonderful readers.  It is done!

Parenting 101: While I am at the library, there’s a couple of girls who always come hang out with me. They are about 10 years old, and sometimes they get pretty rowdy. I was always hesitant to really yell at them or anything because I am not their mother. One day, my friend Patrick visited me here at the cafe, and he managed to get them to TOTALLY behave. He was a camp counselor for years and he knows how to be firm with kids but still have them like you. Today, I’ve had to raise my voice a little, and it still surprises me that they still love me as much as they did before. Woo hoo for progress!

Sisters: Tomorrow is my sister’s prom. The other day was her senior award night. Next year she will be at Fordham, my beloved school. These past few months, I have been through a wide array of negative emotions: some jealousy of her accomplishments, fear that she will blow my Fordham experience out of the water, and guilt over having these emotions. But when it comes down it, at every significant event she has, I realize I am not a bad sister after all. I always end up crying and emotional. When she had her senior awards, I had to slyly wipe tears out of my eyes with pride for, and each of her friends, as they accepted certificates on the stage. They are no longer children, but graceful women. My sister is amazing. Tomorrow for her prom, my awesome boss was cool with me working from home so I could help Martine with her hair and make up. Despite my selfish feelings I struggle with, that come from momentary lapses in confidence, I am so proud of Martine. More importantly, I love her. And I would be very lost and very sad without her.

 

Thanks for reading, that got really real, I know.

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