Hi y’all! I have a big week ahead of me, and I am pretty excited about it. Company retreat, 4th of July, etc.
Today started off weird with waking from an anxiety dream about having a paper to write for a class. Note: I graduated college a year ago, but this won’t stop the dreams. In my dream, the due date kept getting closer and closer, from a couple days away to an hour till the class. The whole time, I was just trying to figure out what my thesis would be. The subject kept changing from Middlemarch to Game of Thrones, as dreams often do. The struggle wasn’t writing the paper, it was just deciding on the specific topic, since I knew once I had that, I’d get it done fast. (That’s interesting: it’s the decision that’s hard, not the execution. Holy accurate.) I woke up with an hour left and still no thesis. Yikes.
It got me thinking, though, I do miss writing papers (on interesting topics). I was good at it. The best paper I ever wrote was on Pride and Prejudice, claiming that Lydia moved the plot along entirely. I had fun writing it because I look at papers like solving a puzzle: you just have to get the right pieces to prove your thesis. Hey, that rhymes. Anyway, you may call me a nerd now.
Moving on to the subject of soul-people…This is my idea of a combination of soul mates and someone being “your person.” The people that are the “one soul dwelling in 2 bodies” kind, as Aristotle supposedly said. I mention this because today also continued after my dream to be weird. After lunch I sort of broke down talking to my sister and cried. Don’t be alarmed: crying is my default reaction to all feelings, it’s normal. So my sister had a heart to heart with me and I talked to her about stuff I hadn’t really talked out with anyone. Because of this conversation, I was able to talk to my best friend about it too. I was surprised that they both gave me the same advice, and didn’t judge me like I expected.
These girls know me better than anyone. They know the things that really bother me, that set me off. My sister always steps in at the right time when people are making jokes that are more hurtful to me than they think. She knows the things that actually trouble me. Meanwhile, my best friend has proven herself to be wonderful with delicate situations, and knows exactly how to act to make things work out well for me. Both my sister and best friend always lift me up and tell me when I do things right and that they are proud of me. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t know what to do. There’s a few other people that are my “Soul-people” not mentioned here. I am incredibly lucky to have all of them. Special shout out to Melaney and Martine for getting me through today, though, and helping me see light at the end of a tunnel I thought I was stuck in.
It is now 1am and this old lady needs some sleep. Goodnight, friends, and don’t forget to appreciate the summertime. It is lovely.