I am still alive, everyone. I’ve been focusing on many different things and haven’t had time to blog. Seeing Kieran before he started working, my own anxieties, and work all put blogging in the backseat. I did, however, succeed in my goal – 35 cards! (2 I am still waiting on addresses for, whoops.)
It really is true, if you’re sad, just write a thank you card. It will immediately refocus you to being grateful and full of love. I ended up getting fancy with designs on the envelopes too, because Sharpies are fun. It’s great getting responses about how much people appreciate just a simple note in the mail.
I also learned a little about biting off more than you can chew. I really wanted to include a little something with each card…a sticker, a photo, a quote, that was personal to recipient. But I realized that just writing 35 cards (on top of being sick and also emotionally all over the place) was enough of a challenge. I compromised with making the envelopes pretty.
Writing cards helped me think about the people in my life, and what they have given me just with their existence. It taught me to be more thankful to my dad for who he is, for example. I am really happy this project worked out. I definitely want to continue to write cards, especially now that I found the perfect Sabina cards – orange!
In other November/December news, I continued to battle the demons I have mentioned in previous posts. Every time I thought I was okay again, a week later something hit my mind that I couldn’t shake. It really brought me down but it taught me a lot about my religion, and made me focus on my spiritual journey. I have a much better understanding of what it means to be friends with God, and of my Catholicism. None of this needed to be so painful, but I struggle with not falling into anxiety. I am working on remembering that if you’re anxious and scared, you lack trust in God. I am working on getting back to my always sunshiney self.
I have made different connections within my church and my friends and family I never would have made without this darker time of my life. And I am blown away at how it actually strengthened my relationship with my boyfriend, which was still relatively new. I am forever grateful that Kieran never flinches, even if I am crying for no reason, or barely speaking because my own thoughts scare me. Every day I love him more, and I cannot wait to support him throughout his career and life as he has already supported me.
But what was your December project, Sabina? The year is winding down!
This month, knowing I needed to focus on my emotional health, I chose to simply work on planning my 2015 project and working on creating a bucket for future projects, so I never forget a good idea. I haven’t done too much with this, but I did have a great brainstorming session, just me and my newly cleaned dry erase board, the other night. I am working on creating something epic. But mostly, I have been focusing on getting closer to my boyfriend and his family, wrapping up the year at work with intern Nathalia, and all the other awesome stuff that December brings. (Check out the instagram sidebar on this blog if you care to see picture updates of all this!)
So that’s where I have been. My number one take away this past couple months is: it’s always less scary than you think, and God will always lead the way, as soon as you stop taking control yourself. I have experienced little miracle after little miracle recently, and the recognition of these, as well as the pursuit of real answers instead of fear, has kept me going.
Expect a blog post at the end of the month summing up my year of blogging and projects!