So it’s been a long time, huh? I don’t even remember my last post at all. I come to you today from Coffee Labs Roasters in Tarrytown. Yes, it’s a Thursday afternoon, and I am not at work.
I think I am finally over the huge obstacle I had to get over since October – the depression and anxiety I was dealing with was a deep valley for me. Maybe it was the winter taking a toll, plus my body not being totally healed from mono. Maybe it was my propensity to fall into anxiety when all the ingredients are present.
You see, I am a happy person, but oh man, do I have the tendency to be quite unhappy. Know what the worst part was? My life is finally exactly what I always wanted (great job, boyfriend who talks about the future with me, amazing friends and family…) and here I was, not able to enjoy it because I was addicted to my own despair and worry. Talk about not trusting God and living for others (my new year’s resolutions).
Through all of this, I have been able to get more into my faith and relationship with God. I have made closer bonds with Kieran that only strengthened our relationship. My friendships have found beauty when I got down to the nitty gritty, crying at work, hanging onto Sarah, or sitting across from Melaney or my sister, telling them how terrified I was. God gave me a lot of good people for when I have fallen so far.
So I am here today, on the first of the two days off I took from work to enjoy some time away from everything I normally repeat every day. Kieran is working a double so I won’t even see him. So it’s all me, just like it used to be on spring breaks in college. And I discovered a coffee shop!
Funny how college students take days off for granted. It’s a lot harder to relax when you’re the one in charge of when you do that. Take days off people, you need it.
Tomorrow I am presenting at TEDxFordham on, surprise, never taking things for granted. It’s timely, and I am so grateful and humbled to have been asked. I just finished up my draft of the speech. All that’s left is to practice.
I am not sure where the rest of the day will take me. Reading, writing a few more blogs to queue up, shopping, haircut? We shall see. Most importantly, where can I get lunch alone? Because that sounds amazing.