Okay so I still haven’t gotten a dress and oh crap flowers are expensive and how can I possibly find dresses for my bridesmaids when they don’t even live nearby and what about my hair???? WEDDING PLANNING IS HARD!!!!!!!!!!
This was the mental dialogue happening inside my head a couple months ago, as I realized my wedding to-do list from The Knot wasn’t getting any smaller, just longer. I was starting to panic, as I realized that with the turn of 2017, I was now in my wedding year. When you’re nine months away from the biggest day of your life, you start to get nervous.
So, I did what any wedding-planning, color-coding, list-loving, team-leader person would do. I took a look at everything I needed to get done that was scaring me. Then I realized that I had just asked my closest friends and little sister to be in my wedding party. DUH, I had a whole #TeamBride waiting to help me not freak out.
I went to the GroupMe messages of all my bridesmaids and asked who could take charge of finding bridesmaid dresses, and who could take on hair. Three of them volunteered, one for each role. I immediately felt better.
Knowing I had a team behind me made me calmer for a few reasons.
Delegation is KEY!
My job at Swift Kick has taught me the importance of delegation. If I tried to take full responsibility of planning an entire wedding, I would explode from all the loose ends. Knowing that there was a person to go to when it was time to talk about each aspect made me feel like I was sharing the burden. It helps when you know you aren’t the only one thinking about how to get things done.
#TeamBride has a purpose.
Realizing that my bridesmaids were there to help me get everything done made me feel like I was part of a team. These women are my closest confidants, so remembering to trust them to ease my stress was crucial. It makes us closer as friends and sisters to work towards a shared goal.
They are all pretty amazing.
Asking them for help gave the ladies a chance to remind me that they had my back. They all echoed the same sentiment:
Sabina, you worry about your wedding dress, we will take care of the rest. We are here for you.
It’s amazing what a calming effect that statement has on me!
So, if you’re planning a wedding, take these steps to ensure you use your bridesmaids (and groomsmen) to their full potential.
1. Make a Groupme or Whatsapp group with your gals or guys.
Use this to keep them all updated at once as your planning progresses. Groupme has the ability to like messages, which can help you with voting (like the message with the date that works best!) and keeping tabs (like this message so I know you read it!).
I love having a go-to spot to talk to all my ladies at once, to celebrate, panic, and say hi.
2. Ask your wedding party members to take on different roles.
It seriously helps to know that there is one point person for each aspect of planning. Find out who has experience with flowers, DJs, hair…etc and who is willing to help you do what. Just having one someone to talk something out with really helps ease stress.
3. Make sure your people know their responsibilities.
The Knot’s book of wedding lists has a page all about what the bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid of honor, and best man are all responsible for. Share it with them so nobody has to assume anything! Communication is key.
I also use Trello to organize things like who is getting what dress, what tasks need to be done, and other resources. And of course, shared Pinterest boards for each aspect of the wedding!
4. Build your #TeamBride and #TeamGroom
My fiance had a “steak dinner” in the city to introduce all his groomsmen to each other, since they hadn’t all met yet. This was really beneficial because they are now all comfortable communicating with each other and they created important friendships.
Note to self: Have a fun bonding day with all the groomsmen and bridesmaids. I really want to make sure they all know each other and can work together, just in case disaster strikes and I need a solid team in action on the day of the wedding!
5. Say THANK YOU!
Yes, keep on your bridesmaids to make sure they all have ordered their dresses and taken care of everything. But make sure every time you do, you say thank you and tell them how you couldn’t do it without them. They are there for your big day, but it should be fun for them too!
So, I learned why the heck we even bother to have a wedding party. They are there to support me in my wedding planning. Instead of forgetting the real reason I am planning a wedding, my bridesmaids share my to-do list so I can focus on the real meaning of the day. That real meaning being, IN SIX MONTHS I GET TO MARRY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! That’s worth celebrating.