“Rules Control the Fun!” – Why Monica from Friends Was Right

If we are being honest, I have always been the most like Monica. OCD? Check. Goody two shoes? Check. Ends up with the goofiest, most lovable romantic? Hell yeah. Now, please watch this clip below.

RULES ARE GOOD! RULES HELP CONTROL THE FUN!

Yeah, Monica! I agree so much, I just spent half an hour looking for that clip.

Anyway…

Remember when I flipped out a little about wedding planning because it hit THE YEAR of my wedding?

Well, that was nothing like the standstill I found myself in at the T-4 month mark. There was so much to do, in so little time….so I started doing nothing.

Here’s how the conversation went with my fiance, Kieran, basically every day.

Kieran: Babe, we gotta be productive and [insert wedding task here].

Me: NO BABE, I AM TIRED AND HAD A LONG COMMUTE AND I DON’T WANNA THERE’S TOO MUCH TO DO LEAVE ME ALONE NO CUDDLE ME HELP! [insert temper tantrum here]

Poor guy.

In two days, I will be 3 months from best.day.ever. I cannot afford to be doing nothing. I mean, I could, but then I would have no veil, no invitations sent, no cake, no…should I just elope?

Then I had a break-through moment that I think will be helpful to all panicking brides. It is inspired by something I learned back in college.

I work best with one incredibly rigid rule.

In college:

I was tired of being behind with homework and readings all the time, and scrambling to get it done on time. So I promised myself I’d stick to one rule: I would never do anything the day it was due. 

The night before? Sure. A week ahead, better! But never the morning before the class it was due. And once I caught up (that first day was tough), I never looked back. I always followed my rule and it made me me more productive, efficient, and organized.

While wedding planning:

I knew I needed to make a change to get myself motivated. If it worked in college, why can’t it work now? I messaged my bridesmaids the following message in our group chat, before I could change my mind:

Hi bridesmaids and ladies of high esteem ! I’m starting to panic ever so slightly as we approach T-3 months . Panic=paralyze for me so my new goal here is to do one thing at least every day for wedding stuff . Literally anything . All I need for this is for you all to check on me and make sure I’m on track for this goal. Thank you!!

The rule? I have to do at least one wedding-related task per day, and make sure the ladies know about it.

Yesterday, I forgot to send a message.  So my gal Stacey message the group said, “Sabina, what’s the update?” It felt so good to know these girls have my back and WILL nag me for my own good. That’s what bridesmaids are for!

Next time you have a motivation problem, try making just one rule. You’ll be surprised at what it can do – especially if you’re a stressed out bride! And remember…

 

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